So, Now What?

UPDATED: Originally Posted June 19, 2009

For less than a week, TLC videos and headlines swirled pushing viewers and celebrity news readers to a crashing wave of a likely conclusion: Jon & Kate Gosselin are divorcing. TLC's viewership may return to the 10 million from a few weeks ago if only briefly.

So, now what? It's over. That's life...or reality television in this case.

While my wife and I have yet to watch an episode this season, the purpose of this blog hasn't been to encourage you to watch the show. Its purposes: discouraging gossip about this couple, praying for Jon & Kate Gosselin - individually and as a couple, praying for their children, and providing resources for strengthening marriages.

Now, you might think: "Ha! Lot of good praying for them did - they're getting divorced!" God answers prayers in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, and maybe/wait.

Thus, you might conclude that God wants Jon & Kate to get divorced. Malachi 2:16 says, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel."

Jon & Kate have to be willing be listen to the Holy Spirit. They have to be receptive of the intercessory prayers being lifted up on their behalf. Romans 8:26–27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

All of our prayers have been heard for this family and will continue to be heard if you're compelled to intercede on behalf of Jon & Kate and their children. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

In case you feel Jon & Kate are unworthy of your intercessory prayers, please note for whom you should pray: all in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); ministers (Philippians 1:19); the church (Psalm 122:6); friends (Job 42:8); fellow countrymen (Romans 10:1); the sick (James 5:14); enemies (Jeremiah 29:7); those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44); those who forsake you (2 Timothy 4:16); and all men (1 Timothy 2:1).

We are all called to intercede for others. True intercessory prayer seeks not only to know God’s will and see it fulfilled, but to see it fulfilled whether or not it benefits us and regardless of what it costs us. True intercessory prayer seeks God’s glory, not our own.

"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you" (1 Samuel 12:23).

As for divorce, according to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Since marriages involve sinful humans, God is not surprised by divorces. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

Outside of adultery or abuse, divorce is a lack of faith in God, a broken promise to Him and one's spouse, and is selfishness between two people especially when children are involved. When a couple removes their focus from God and become so lost in their own emotions, wants, and desires...divorce is usually the tragic outcome. Yet, God still loves us.

Sadly, the divorce rate among professing Christians is as high as that of unbelievers. Why? Because we allow the world to dictate our wants and desires. We listen to gossip and lies. We cave to lust and other distractions. We ignore the promise we made before God and our spouse to always stand by their side. Yet, God still loves us.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good. That's how He works, because God still loves you.

Why Pray For Jon & Kate?

Since this campaign began, I've read so many variations of the question: why pray for Jon & Kate? The implication is that if someone is greedy, selfish, acting foolish, or simply is someone with whom you disagree, they do not deserve your prayers. When did prayers become currency to be begrudgingly given out to certain causes? Let's examine what the Bible says about prayers:

• James 5:13 - "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise."
  
  
• Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
  
  
• Philippians 1:9 - "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight..."
  
  
• Romans 12:12 - "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

This couple, like every married couple, is going through trials and tribulations. Some may say they've made poor choices. Some may say the Gosselins are coordinating an orchestrated business plan. Actually, we don't really know and what does it matter? These are two people...who are married...and who have children. That's at least 3 reasons to pray for them.

To help you, I've provided some Scripture and focal points to assist your prayers, however, your prayer time with God is between you and God. So, pray as you are led.

Day 1 - Ephesians 5:22 - "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
Lord God, please allow Kate to set aside herself and her own needs and encourage Jon to lead their household.

Day 2 - 1 Corinthians 7:3 - "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband."
Father, I pray that Jon will be renewed in his commitment to his marriage and participate in every aspect of that covenant.

Day 3 - Colossians 3:20 - "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Yahweh, may all of the Gosselin children listen to and obey their parents. Please protect these children from any harm.

Day 4 - Titus 2:7 - "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness."
Lord, allow the Gosselins to experience your grace and mercy everyday and in so be an example of You unto others.

Day 5 - Colossians 3:18 - "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."
Father, may Kate not allow pride and emotions to overpower Jon.

Day 6 - Ephesians 5:23 - "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
God, Jon is the leader of his family. Give him the discernment and wisdom to perform this task everyday in Your strength.

Day 7 - Proverbs 21:9 - "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
Lord God, I pray that Jon & Kate seek Godly counsel to help heal their marriage.

Day 8 - 1 Corinthians 7:5 - "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Father God, I pray this couple finds a harmonious balance in their life and not allow worldly influences to distract them from family.

Day 9 - 1 Peter 3:7 - "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
In the name of Jesus, I pray that Jon can see past his hurt and anger to reconnect with his wife in a deeper way.

Day 10 - Proverbs 21:19 - "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."
God, may Kate understand that words can push Jon into the desert.

Day 11 - Proverbs 31:10 - "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
Lord God, I pray that Kate realizes her value in Your eyes...and that Jon can cherish her in a new and special way.

Day 12 - 1 Peter 3:2 - "...when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
Father, may the media and the world see purity and reverence in the lives of the Gosselins. Not by our will but by Your Will may this be done.

Day 13 - Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word," Father God, I pray that Jon will step up and love Kate in daring ways and grow closer to You in the process.

Day 14 - Proverbs 31:25 - "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
God, may Kate focus and rely on Your strength so that she can laugh at these days and the days to come.

Day 15 - Proverbs 27:15-16 - "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand."
Father God, it's so easy for Jon to give up and seemingly avoid wasting energy and time. I pray he sees with Your eyes what's around him.

Day 16 - Ephesians 5:27 - "...and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Lord, may Kate allow Your love to shine through having made her pure.

Day 17 - Proverbs 31:26 - "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
God, may every word that falls from Kate's mouth be uplifting.

Day 18 - Titus 2:8 - "...and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
Lord, may the Gosselins conduct their lives in such a manner as to bring glory unto You.

Day 19 - Colossians 3:21 - "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
In the name of Jesus, I pray that the Gosselin 8 are encouraged by Jon on a daily basis.

Day 20 - 1 Corinthians 7:4 - "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife."
Lord God, may Jon & Kate work through their hurts and anger to heal and love each other in a new way.

Day 21 - Ephesians 5:28 - "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
God, may Jon love Kate as he loves his own flesh, needs, and wants.

Day 22 - Proverbs 31:27 - "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:"
Father God, may the Gosselin household have Your peace.

Day 23 - Titus 2:6 - "Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled." Lord, please tame Jon's restless spirit. Refocus his energies to bring glory to You.

Day 24 - Ephesians 5:24 - "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Father God, grant wisdom to Jon & Kate to understand their beloved partnership afresh and anew.

Day 25 - Titus 2:4 - "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children..."
Lord, my the Gosselin's marriage be renewed and be an example to young couples everywhere.

Day 26 - Proverbs 31:29 - "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
God, may Kate be considered noble and receive high praise from her family and others with the glory to You.

Day 27 - 1 Peter 3:3 - "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes."
Father, we pray that Jon & Kate will not focus on wordly riches but to allow Your beauty to shine from within.

Day 28 - Colossians 3:19 - "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
Lord, encourage Jon and empower him to be supportive of Kate.

Day 29 - 1 Peter 3:1 - "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..."
God, may Kate's behavior - not her words - communicate more than her words.

Day 30 - Titus 2:5 - "...to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."
Father God, may Your name be lifted on high!

Day 31 - 1 Peter 3:4 - "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." God, we pray that Your love, grace, and mercy will be evident in the daily lives of Jon & Kate.