10 hours ago
UPDATED: Originally Posted June 19, 2009
For less than a week, TLC videos and headlines swirled pushing viewers and celebrity news readers to a crashing wave of a likely conclusion: Jon & Kate Gosselin are divorcing. TLC's viewership may return to the 10 million from a few weeks ago if only briefly.
So, now what? It's over. That's life...or reality television in this case.
While my wife and I have yet to watch an episode this season, the purpose of this blog hasn't been to encourage you to watch the show. Its purposes: discouraging gossip about this couple, praying for Jon & Kate Gosselin - individually and as a couple, praying for their children, and providing resources for strengthening marriages.
Now, you might think: "Ha! Lot of good praying for them did - they're getting divorced!" God answers prayers in 1 of 3 ways: yes, no, and maybe/wait.
Thus, you might conclude that God wants Jon & Kate to get divorced. Malachi 2:16 says, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel."
Jon & Kate have to be willing be listen to the Holy Spirit. They have to be receptive of the intercessory prayers being lifted up on their behalf. Romans 8:26–27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
All of our prayers have been heard for this family and will continue to be heard if you're compelled to intercede on behalf of Jon & Kate and their children. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
In case you feel Jon & Kate are unworthy of your intercessory prayers, please note for whom you should pray: all in authority (1 Timothy 2:2); ministers (Philippians 1:19); the church (Psalm 122:6); friends (Job 42:8); fellow countrymen (Romans 10:1); the sick (James 5:14); enemies (Jeremiah 29:7); those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44); those who forsake you (2 Timothy 4:16); and all men (1 Timothy 2:1).
We are all called to intercede for others. True intercessory prayer seeks not only to know God’s will and see it fulfilled, but to see it fulfilled whether or not it benefits us and regardless of what it costs us. True intercessory prayer seeks God’s glory, not our own.
"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you" (1 Samuel 12:23).
As for divorce, according to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Since marriages involve sinful humans, God is not surprised by divorces. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).
Outside of adultery or abuse, divorce is a lack of faith in God, a broken promise to Him and one's spouse, and is selfishness between two people especially when children are involved. When a couple removes their focus from God and become so lost in their own emotions, wants, and desires...divorce is usually the tragic outcome. Yet, God still loves us.
Sadly, the divorce rate among professing Christians is as high as that of unbelievers. Why? Because we allow the world to dictate our wants and desires. We listen to gossip and lies. We cave to lust and other distractions. We ignore the promise we made before God and our spouse to always stand by their side. Yet, God still loves us.
The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good. That's how He works, because God still loves you.
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My husband and I have been married for 31 years and we have a wonderful marriage. I don't know what I would do without him.
I'm not sure what happened to Kate and Jon. In the beginning of their show they were fun to watch, but lately it's hard to watch what's happening. The bottomline is, whatever is God's plan for them, will happen.
Since they both supposedly have Gods Spirit, they both are beleivers and if they divorce neither of them can remarry unless one of them passed. This is because they both have Gods Spirit. In order for Jon to be set free he needs to confess his sin in order for His Spirit to stop being quenched just as much as she needs to confess also.
Sometimes, all can seem impossible, too far gone, and too messed up...but if people can be repentant and place their lives at God's feet, there's so much more He can do in and through us.
No matter what their announcement is tonight, I will continue to pray for reconciliation and healing in their relationship. It may take a while, but I am committed to praying that God would lead them back to each other. It is no secret that their relationship is strained and not where it should be. WHAT IF God did a miracle? WHAT IF God changed their hearts? What type of encouragement would this give to people whose marriages are on the brink? Haven't we all had marital problems? Isn't God big enough to do this?
I am a pastor's wife and have had troubles in my own marriage. At times, walking away seemed to be the best possible thing. But somewhere, we must have people praying for us because despite the anger over irresponsible behavior (on both parts), God miraculously continues to give us grace & mercy (and forgiveness) for each other. After all, isn't that what God gives to us on a daily basis? Does he HAVE to forgive us and show us mercy? Not at all. Does he CHOOSE to do it? Every time.
Anonymous, I'm blessed that you have found this blog as well. Thanks for sharing!
Caleb's Wife, indeed, that is a shame but you are correct - we don't know His plans but we can continue to intercede for them and their children.
I remember seeing clips of their footage before they married and the early years. They seemed very much in love and so excited for the future.
It is very sad. I think Kate was truly hurt on tonight's episode. I don't believe that she wants this. I think that Jon is hurt as well from years of Kate being less than kind to him, much less treating him like a man and the leader of their home.
I feel so sorry for their family. I hope that God can heal the wounds. What a hard road ahead for the children. The whole situation is just so sad.
I am a huge fan of Jon and Kate + 8 but have found it so difficult to watch since thier problems have surfaced. I as many here also took to interceding for them and now to watch tonite and learn that they have filed for disolution of their marriage was so sad.
I wonder if God is listening. There were and probably still are so many praying for them and yet it seems satan is the one laughing.
I'm frustrated to say the least. I will continue to pray for them in hopes that God will intervene, but I must admit, I'm losing hope.
From what I've gleaned, there's a lot of hurt and angry feelings between Jon & Kate. That's where prayers can be focused. Healing and communication. Reconciliation would be even better but they have to heal and talk first.
Pray and keep praying. Don't lose heart. There's nothing wrong with repeatedly asking for the same thing in prayer. So long as what you're praying is within the will of God (1 John 5:14-15), keep asking until God grants your request or removes the desire from your heart. Sometimes God is teaching us by allowing us to wait for the resolution. Sometimes what we seek in prayer is not in God's timing. Sometimes what we seek is not what we need.
If you are led to pray for someone or something, keep doing it until you receive an answer or the desire is removed.
The fact that this website is created in the honor of two "parents" who want nothing more than to sell their family to the perversion of cable TV is appalling.
Honestly, you, as the creator of this website, and everyone who actually buys into this BS, should be ashamed of yourself.
FACT: Over 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.
My parents' marriage ended in divorce. Where is my cable television show?
What these two poor excuses for parents did was be irresponsible and have 8 children. Honestly, in this economy, who could really raise 8 children on ONE income?! Parents are having trouble raising ONE child on YWO incomes in this economical climate.
TLC foots the bill for everything. These children are already growing up thinking they can have everything in the world with the snap of their fingers.
While REAL people, people who don't have hairstylists and make up artists and camera crews, are suffering world wide, you put so much effort into this idiotic blog of yours praying for these two irresponsible idiots because they are getting a divorce?
Seriously? Are you on drugs? Get a clue.
I can also see why the couple has not sought out their pastor's help, as he has come out in several places (news outlets) and really made inappropriate comments and discussed matters publicly that should have been private. He owes them both an apology as well as to the children.
Thanks for this site -- it is heartwarming to know that there are others out there that are pleading to God for a reconciliation between these two - that are so caught up in their own lives they forgot about their married life, which their precious children.
Isn't ironic that prior to a wedding the couple will spend hours, days, weeks and months preparing for the at most 20 minute marriage ceremony, but do nothing to prepare for the marriage itself. It's never to late to give it to God. If they truly did, used the resources, and truly put their marriage first, they could do it. What an example that would be to their children in the years to come? Imagine the affect that would have on these precious kids that with God leading their lives, the impossible becomes possible.
In Jesus's name I pray...Amen!
I also know that God hears our prayers and that even the worst marriage situations can be healed by Him. So, I've been praying for them. For the sake of their children and the name of Christianity I am praying.
I'm glad that there are others out there lifting them up in prayer as well.
By the way, this past Sunday we had a speaker at our church talk about being persistent in prayer. To keep asking like a child would. (I have a very persistent two year old so I know what that looks like)! So, I would encourage others out there who are praying to keep asking God to heal this marriage and restore what has been torn down.
In addition to my prayers for Jon & Kate, I am also praying for those in this world who are or have experienced divorce. Just because it happens so frequently in our society, doesn't mean that the hurt and pain aren't heavily felt by all involved.
The one thing the Lord continues to remind me of is the fact that he has given us all the free will to make choices. How awesome is that? :) So, although He can work mighty miracles, we also have the ability to choose to honor our marriages. They might not be easy, but He assures us that we will be blessed for upholding our vows. It is my prayer that the Lord would work a mighty miracle in the lives of Jon and Kate - that they would choose to honor the covenant they made with God and each other.
God has already used this broken marriage to bring together so many others (just look at this website and the countless resources posted here). He will continue to reveal Himself...regardless of what Jon and Kate decide to do.
We serve a powerful God!
I married @18, was a Mom by 19, and 23 years later - we're still married, still loving each other, and still best friends. The prayers of the righteous do indeed availeth much!!!
Sorry I am not too positive here... As I am going through a very hard time in my marriage. I do believe in marriage forever, but it seems that my situation does not have a solution,,,the problem is that I dont feel attracted to my husband anymore, I care for him as a friend, partner...but there is no romance. We do have a child together, so I basicly am with him because of the child,,,but it is so hard to live in a "lie" fake kisses...fake everything..
Please HELP!
I'm so glad to have found this blog. It's so rare in this crazy world.
I wanted to say that I've been praying for Jon and Kate's marriage for more than a month now. And I encourage everybody to do the same. There is not a better option for the family but to stay together.
I'm praying for God's will in their marriage, for them to fall in love with each other again. (It's possible when God does it!) For WISE friends and LOVING family to be there for them.
How does your husband feel about this? If you don't know...ASK HIM!! We all during our married years will go thru times of where the romance wanes thin, due to stress, obligations, and just being plain old tired.
I would recommend that you go out right now and pick up the book, "Love Dare". The whole movie, "FireProof" is based on this...it will take you thru steps that day by day, will allow you to examine YOUR role in your marriage. Are you helping or hindering the romance...
I will pray for YOU, #35, that you may begin to remember what drew you two together in the first place. As you stated, you care for him as a friend --- think about it...you are leaps and bounds ahead of so many troubled couples who cannot even stomach being in the same room with each other.
Please pray for God to open your eyes and heart to the man that you share your child with. soften your heart towards him and allow your heart to grow... There is hope! Remember the God that spoke the world into being is not limited by our human, frail, and sinful imaginations...give it all to HIM in prayer, let go of your reins and watch as He takes you further than you have ever imagined.
Please know that I am praying for you!
In Jesus's name, Amen.
Please post here again,#35 and let me know how it's going...we are all here for you! I am Anonymous 28 and will include #28 in further posts.
Yes, the divorce rate is %50 - very high. But is it necessary...NO! so many couples go into marriage with the knowledge that there is the backdoor, with the big "D" on it if they become unhappy.
That door need not exist - you don't allow it to. There is no greater gift that you can give your child then to love their mother or their father. To demonstrate unconditional love to them for them to observe. I have seen God work miracles in marriages, abusive, alcoholic, you name it.
The vows are promises between not only you and your spouse, but between you and God to love and honor, etc.
The other thing you need to remember, is that they did not have 8 children by choice...they desired to have a 3rd child and having luck with their first pregnancy with fertility drugs, they tried again...we all know the result.
Now...as a Christian, please look at this from a biblical perspective. They may not have become parents of 8 by choice, but they are parents of 8 by choice. I am sure that someone mentioned that they should "selectively reduce" the number of babies within her womb...and Thank You God they chose not to perform that type of abortion. Can you imagine any of those sweet babies not there?
Yes, it is insane that they have 8 kids, but it is what they have and they have tried...much to the dismay of a lot of naysayers...to make it work. The power of our prayers of intercession here can work miracles.
It is so good to know that there are others, prayerfilled people, who realize that there is still a tremendous amount of hope, and NEVER too late for love. From the Anonymous #28 posting
"Feelings" come and go. We cannot rely on how we feel. Instead, we have to be obedient to God's word.
My husband and I hit the lowest point in our marriage just last week (so I can TOTALLY relate). He was the one who had lost those feelings of attraction. We shed tears together, prayed together and even yelled at one another. However, after my husband spent some time speaking with the Godly men from our church, and we decided to seek out counseling while revisiting the Love Dare book, I'm happy to say that our marriage is healing. PRAISE THE LORD! It's not perfect, but we're both CHOOSING to invest in our vows. We know that the Lord will bless us...and He has already done so (and in just a few short days). ;)
Hang in there and give it to God! He is the ultimate healer!
Please understand what I say here is in a spirit of love and helpfulness.
Love is a choice and not just a feeling and an action. When we're dating someone, engaged, and the first few months or years of marriage - love is an easy feeling and action. It's easy to be "in love" with someone. While feelings are involved during that time, there's also a lot of being "in lust" and the two can get confused.
If we allow life to get in the way - work, projects, children, distractions - we aren't spending time investing in our spouse. We can be doing a lot of good things for ourselves and others but not spending quality time with our spouse.
This is when love becomes a choice. Do I chose to work at this marriage? Do I chose to keeping learning and growing with this person? Much of that cannot be determined if the communications lines are closed. And they may not even be closed...just be taken for granted. That's so easy to do. We hurt the one's we love so easily...and it begins by not listening to them. Sure, you might be hearing them...but we can't listen if we're allowing distractions to get our attention.
It's also easier to chose not to love when one's focus is not on God. We may think He has our attention, yet our choices and action speak louder than words. To put it another way, there must be THREE people in a marriage - you, your spouse and Jesus Christ. He can help us choose love when we don't even know we need to...or know how to. But if He's being ignored or not being included, the marriage will suffer.
Just don't feel that you're alone in your struggles. We all have ups and downs and moments where we don't feel loved or want to love...but God uses people, prayer, and priorities to heal us and bring us to a better place than we thought possible.
Also, check out this link: http://www.gotquestions.org/making-marriage-last.html
Some are called to intercede for one person/couple/group while you may be called to intercede for one or all of the people you mentioned.
That's the beauty of prayer...no one person can pray for everything or everyone. However, EVERYONE - even your enemies, even those who you disagree with or that hate you - need prayer and to be shown God's love.
Luke 6:27-28 says: "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
A great book that I am almost finished with is "Love and Respect" by Dr Emerson Eggerichs who is affiliated with Focus on the Family. I am planning on posting a review on this book soon. I hope you will check it out, and add it to your helpful resources.
God bless you in your endeaver to bring God into the picture.
I lived the life similar to Kate's- My husband was carrying on with a female 'friend' of ours and finally admitted he was going through "a selfish stage" and needed to leave our family. God brought me to my knees. My only prayer then was to put God first in the lives of our family- whoever that may include. Dad never came back but praying for the Holy Spirit to flood your home? WOWWW- I prayed for it- I got it!
Praying for you Kate- for God's will!
Regarding praying for the Muslims -- without a doubt we should be spending hours a day praying for them, for thru God, miracles happen. It is only thru the Word of God that their hearts can be softened thru the grace of Christ and then they too can be reached with the truth.
Remember...Jesus himself, as he was hanging on the cross, bloodied, beat, and close to death, prayed to God, His own Father, and said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they have done."
My husband, Thank you God for such a wonderful Godly man to call my best friend and father of my children, lives out this example daily. At first I found it really hard to pray for those who purposefully strove to undermine me at work, make my duties harder than they already were... but everytime I would complain, his answer was the same...Honey, pray for them.
About two weeks later, I had to face-to-face one of these women (who made my life a living hell), and after she was done with her putdowns etc in front of several people...I just looked at her and said, "I don't know what is going on with you, your anger, your disrepecet, but all I can say is I will pray for you."
She looked at me like I had just grown an extra head, got red in the face, looked like she was going to erupt, and then ... just looked at me again, and tears welled up in her eyes and she turned around and ran away. Later that day she approached me with others around and, I believe, gave me a heartfelt apology for the way that she had been acting. Before she walked away, she turned and very softly just to me said, ..thanks for praying for me.
Prayers for our enemies is biblical and shows that we can truly trust God for His will to be done.
You are right, both Jon and Kate both have responsibility in this mess. I have never, ever seen a wife so disrespectful to her husband. Likewise I have never seen a husband so absent in a relationship. She doesn't think before she speaks...He doesn't think before he acts.
If they would have just sought counseling before now, they probably would not be in this position now. Unfortunately, with our sinful nature, it is probably this lack of thinking that drew so many viewers to this show...to see just how long it would last.
Very sad.
Yes, to all the writers who've indicated, there's more important things going on in this world, but for those of us who are in hard marriages or have been through hard marriages, we can emphathize, and that's why we care, and likely why we are led to pray, because we know what to pray.
I will continue to pray for them and their family. For those who make fun of us who pray, I pray even harder for you and I pray someday the Lord will convict you so that you understand why a Prayer Warrior in your court is a wonderful blessing. May God bless those of you who are praying for this family. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know my God does hold tomorrow and I know he is in total control!
That's where we have to be "grown up" and realize that we have to be obedient and pray...knowing that He hears our prayers which hopefully are more focused on seeking His Will than our own desires.